—Written by Coleen Villadelrey, graduate from Ryerson University, Lead Content Writer at Parting Stories.
A few months back, a friend of mine said she was reading a book on love languages. Out of curiosity, she asked our friend group what each of our love languages were. It was just a random, short conversation but it got me to take the test and made me realize how these things are evident in my daily behaviour. In other words, it led to self-analysis.
My top three love languages are: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Acts of Service. After learning this, I started to see more connections between my emotions and actions, whether it was me towards someone else or them towards me. For example, when my mom complimented my painting, it made me feel happy – Words of Affirmation. Another example: Without being asked, I washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen after having dinner with my family – Acts of Service. In these cases, my love languages were being exchanged between me and my family.
However, I read a tweet regarding love languages that interested me. It was something along the lines of practicing your love languages on yourself. This tweet reminded me to work on self-improvement and loving myself. Often, we think more about the love we give to others and don’t think enough about the love we give ourselves. If you share the same top three languages as me, I want to share how you can practice them towards yourself.
Exercise Your Love Languages
- With others: Having deep conversations and hanging out.
- With yourself: Have a heart to heart conversation with yourself, make time for your hobbies, spend a few hours alone.
Words of Affirmation
- With others: Receiving compliments and other uplifting messages.
- With yourself: Reflect on your positive qualities as well as your achievements.
(Personally, this is the toughest for me to do, I always encourage my friends but find it difficult to encourage myself.)
Acts of Service
- With others: Doing chores around the house or doing good deeds in general.
- With yourself: Get stuff done on your to-do list, treat yourself (whether that means with food or having a spa day).
I recommend that you not only take the test for fun or to quickly learn about yourself, but also try to implement these habits in your everyday life. Self-love is equally as important as sharing love with the important people in your life. Yes it’s funny to self-deprecate, this is common for our generation’s humour. On the other hand, there’s enough negativity in the world, so let’s part away from producing more negative energy towards ourselves. Thank you for reading and I wish you success on this journey of self-love!