When people Don’t Know I have A Tremor

“When People Don’t Know I Have A Tremor” is written by Amra Mujithaba, graduate from Schulich School of Business at York University, Founder and Managing Director at Parting Stories.

“My friend asked what’s wrong with you and why you were so nervous.” My close friend told me on the phone. “She said your hands were shaking.”

We were discussing what happened after a party we went to over a year ago. I didn’t know anyone but my friend at the party.

“I said, ‘maybe but yeah, I think she’s fine.'” My friend added.

Her answer confused me. I have a genetic, benign tremor so my hands are always shaking and my friend knows that. Why didn’t she say that? Before I could start bombarding her with what she should’ve done, I thought about my friend’s perspective.

Maybe she didn’t want to answer that I have a tremor in response to what’s wrong with me. Maybe she didn’t know I’d rather share that I have a tremor than be called ‘nervous.’

“I’m informing you, I have no problem sharing the fact that I have a hand tremor. You know I’m barely ever nervous so next time, feel free to tell them that I have it.” I said. “Also, if you love me,” I laughed, “tell them I can draw detailed artworks even with it.”

“I will.” My friend said with a smile in her voice.

Thoughts About My Tremor

Whether my tremor is considered something wrong depends on the person. I personally am getting used to it and finding ways to live with it. I can do most of what I want to do like draw realistic artworks and put on my makeup in the morning. As long as I’m okay with it, there’s no reason for me to be affected by how others perceive it. I do care that people know I have a tremor though if they’re going to confuse it with me being nervous. That is why I told my friend what to say in the future, parting from her shared conversation. 

We can’t change the past, but we CAN influence future scenarios. We also can focus on what is cool about us rather than what is “wrong.”  Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and I hope this helps you remain positive.

©Parting Stories

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1 year ago

I so relate to this. I have a neuromuscular disorder so I walk weird if I don’t purposely try to imitate how people usually walk. I get a lot of people asking what is wrong with them. They think I am injured and offer to take them to the ER. I used to embarassed telling people and would just say I am tired of exercised for too long. Now I am not as afraid. Regardless we are unique beings. Everyone has something about them that is different. There is not one right way to be human.

If you draw really well and paint, that is even more reason to not be embarassed about having a hand tremor.

Sadly, people get bullied for medical conditions, so I can understand your friend. Sometimes I wonder whether or not a medical condition that someone has is meant to be private. Every person is different in terms of what they feel comfortable sharing.

However, I do think that your friend should have let you answer in this case or just mentioned your condition so that people don’t assume you have anxiety disorder.

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
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