Parting from the random thought I had about why it’s difficult to date nowadays, the first word that entered my mind was “pride.” By that I mean: No one wants to chase anymore, they just want to be chased. If people hear that “you’re going after someone” then sometimes you get called desperate. There’s also the whole idea of “I’m such a catch, I’m too good for anyone, people should want to date me, I shouldn’t have to look for someone to be interested in me.”
If you contemplate on this mentality deeply, this ego might stem from a fear of rejection. However, fear of rejection is also a reason why some people don’t want to try dating at all.
On the other hand, more and more people are starting to prefer “no commitment.” Whether that be the single life, or a lifestyle with “multiple lovers”/the freedom of being with a lot of different people. Not everyone wants to get married, and that might be a deal-breaker for some.
It may also be difficult to trust people or truly get to know them when methods such as online dating exist. On these platforms people can lie about who they are and hide certain information. Basically, not be genuine, “catfish”, etc.
Additionally, there’s the pandemic.
For some, it is more difficult to meet love interests because of way less social gatherings or public settings to mingle. In contrast, there are people who have actually found partners during this quarantine and it has kept them close due to how much time they are able to spend with one another (moving in together).
Is financial stability important? Can I afford to date?
Off the bat you might be thinking: It’s not about money, you should date because you care about someone or have feelings for them. Sure, it’s true you don’t need money to have a good date. There are lots of things you can do for free, just spend time together with the things you already have.
But realistically speaking, you would have to spend money in the relationship eventually. Not even including special gifts, but something as simple as food or gas for your vehicle to be able to see one another.
Most romance movies are fictional, there’s no denying that the love stories can be “too good to be true.” That doesn’t mean they don’t have an influence on our actual lives.
There are also celebrity couples that people adore and may look up to. Even couples on social media that keep their relationship public can influence our standards. Viewers and followers that get attached also feel sad when things don’t work out and these couples break up, separate, or get divorced. It’s a lot of pressure because fans end up saying they don’t believe in true love anymore.
So what you’re saying is I shouldn’t even attempt to date?
Despite all these factors that seem negative, the point I want to get across is that you shouldn’t feel pressured if you don’t have a special someone right now. I see a lot of people reacting to TikToks of cute couples with videos of them crying or screaming into a pillow that they wish they weren’t single. While they are just for jokes, I think it’s still important to keep in mind that there’s a right time and place for when you’ll meet that right person.
In the meantime, you can focus on taking care of yourself, to be prepared for when that right person comes by. Don’t be jealous of the people around you, or are the same age as you that are “in love” and whatnot. Your story is different and honestly, you don’t need to strive for it to be the same as other people.
If you’re brave enough, shoot your shot. If you don’t feel comfortable to date yet, don’t worry. Remember there are other people in the same boat. You don’t have to date to be happy; happiness can be found in so many other ways. Thanks for taking the time to read this blog.